Though society has deemed cis-gender and heterosexuality to be the certitude, gender and sexuality are more complex and fluid than that. In fact, gender identity is a spectrum. But because humans have been taught differently for such a long time, the concepts of gender identity and sexuality can be confusing and challenging to some people. An example of this is bisexuality, polysexuality, and pansexuality. Besides the fact that they belong in the LGBTQ+ community, they are noninterchangeable and separate identities. To understand these sexualities better, let’s define them!
Bisexuality, in which ‘bi’ means two, is a romantic attraction to both men and women. While polysexuality, not to be confused with polygamy: the practice of being in a consented relationship with multiple partners at once and all parties are aware of the situation, is the romantic attraction to multiple genders, but not all. Lastly, pansexuality is the attraction to all genders, and not cooking pans! In other words, those who identify as pansexual means they are attracted to the person regardless of their gender or sexuality.
Since there are a lot of misconceptions surrounding these identities, let’s clear up some myths, shall we?
1. Bisexuality is transphobic
This is completely false. Although there might be transphobic people who happen to be bisexual, bisexuality isn't synonymous with transphobia. Not being attracted to a specific gender is not the equivalent to hating or discriminating against that gender. Just like how being a heterosexual does not mean one is homophobic and vice versa. Remember, everyone is entitled to like whoever they want to.
2. Pansexuality and polysexuality aren't real
Both pansexuality and polysexuality are, in fact, very real. These communities even have their own flag! Though these sexualities had just recently become more wide-known, they have been existing for quite some time now. Similar to straight people, pansexuals, polysexuals, and other non-straight people don’t fall for the first person they first laid their eyes on- gay people have standards, too!
3. Pansexuality is biphobic
Many think pansexuality exists to bash bisexuality for being “exclusive,” and while there are a few exceptions with this mindset, this is completely wrong. Pansexuality does not exist solely to attack bisexuality. It is completely fine and acceptable to be attracted to some genders, all genders, or not being attracted to any gender at all! Romantic attractions aren't something one can change or forced. This wrong way of thinking has created a division in both the pansexual and the bisexual community. Bisexual people aren't picky and pansexual people aren't haughty for having a wider range of “options.” It’s not a competition! Instead of fighting, all members of the LGBTQ+ community should stand in solitary and celebrate the diversity in this beautiful community.
4. Pansexual people are predators and like every person.
However, this does not mean a pansexual likes everybody romantically (gay people have standards, too), it simply means that person does not care about gender when it comes to romance. They are usually more interested in personalities rather than what’s down there. Indeed, there are people who choose their partners based on personalities and not looks, but unlike pansexuality, their partner’s sexual orientation and gender identity would still be taken into considerations. And just like how gay people have standards, they understand the concept of consent, too! Calling them sex offenders simply because they are gay is homophobic.
These sexualities may be similar, but they are completely different, distinct, and valid! And because sexuality is very fluid, the interpretations of these, and other sexualities, vary within each person. That is why you should never assume anything; if you're confused or unsure, just ask! While some might have one label, others may identify with multiple, such as bisexual, pansexual, and queer. Or they don't label themselves at all. Whatever the decision is, it is up to the person and everyone else should be just supportive and respectful.
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