In high school, students love to try new things and experiment. When one of my friends came out as bisexual, I started considering that I, too, may be like her. A few days later, I started thinking too much about my sexual orientation that I had to concentrate on myself and write down my thoughts. It seemed confusing that I didn’t know who I was, and, frankly, I still do not know who I am.
According to the elders, finding your own identity is essential to understanding the self and your purpose in life. ‘Identity’ can imply a myriad of aspects: goals, career, ideals, and, the most famous and prevalent, sexuality. Adolescence is a time of change, not only in your hormones and the amount of hair and pimples on your body, but also in your sexual preferences. Some adolescents start identifying themselves as straight, homosexual, bisexual, and more, yet some may be confused. In fact, some adolescents stay confused until they grow older! The question is: is it wrong to feel confused about your sexual preferences?
With all the talk on Twitter about being proud of oneself, someone without the knowledge of their sexual orientation may feel left out from the pride. Society, family, and other factors pressure us into looking for the people we feel comfortable with in terms of sexual preference, but many question their own preferences. How does one even begin?
What is sexual orientation?
Scientists agree that sexual orientation, or the attraction to individuals of a particular gender, is influenced by hormonal, environmental, emotional, and biological factors. Simply put, various aspects influence our sexual orientation, which is why different people have different choices in partners.
Some people believe that sexual orientation is a choice, and some think that it is written in your genes. More comprehensive and open-minded thinkers believe that sexual orientation depends on how the individual understands themselves; according to them, sexual orientation may even change based on a combination of personal opinion, nature, and nurture.
How do I determine my sexual orientation?
The definitions above certainly help you understand what your sexual orientation is, yet only you can discover for yourself what you like. It is helpful to research about sexual orientation and what it means, but you have to step out of your comfort zone and observe your feelings. Discovering your sexual orientation is a process that takes time and effort; at times you might think you made mistakes in determining it, only to find out that you were right all along.
One of the reasons why people get confused about their sexual orientation is the idea that people are stuck to being binary. Remember that not everyone only likes a specific gender; the world is wide, and there are more than two sexual orientations. Don’t be afraid to explore and ask for guidance if you need any. There are many people out there who are just as confused as you, and that’s okay. Try experimenting and see what you like because there is no shame in being confused.
Back to my story in the introduction, yes, I still do not know who I am. I am proud to say that I do not feel empty; there is no hole in my heart that I have to fill. As written above, discovering the answer to your questions on sexual orientation takes time and effort. I will continue to relax and ask myself these questions, yet I am fine. It is okay. I am me.
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